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— One of the joys – and I use the term loosely – of my job is finding the many, many ways that people try to turn romance, sexual attraction and the lack thereof into something that it’s not. The greatest example, of course, is The Friend Zone: the phantom prison that women exile good, wholesome men into because FUCK YOU PENIS, THAT’S WHY. Of course there is that pesky issue that the Friend Zone doesn’t actually exist. It’s not a case of ladders or a way of keeping men on the hook for nefarious purposes. It’s just one person who doesn’t want to fuck the other, and another person – almost always a guy – who can’t get over...