Ghosting: Why Men Disappear

You meet a charming gentleman…

You go on a few dates…

Then you send him a text and he doesn’t respond.

What went wrong? I’m sorry to break the news to you, but you’ve been ghosted.

First and foremost, we must define ghosting.

Ghost·ing

the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication

Ghosting has become increasingly common as a result of the rise of online dating and texting.

More than 25% of people have been ghosted, according to studies published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Spooky!

Ghosting usually takes the form of not replying to messages, but it can also take the shape of blocking on social media, failing to follow through on plans, or even disappearing completely.

Ghosting hurts, no matter how he does it… Worst of all, guys frequently disappear to avoid any form of serious confrontation.

That way, they can act as if nothing happened, and you’ll have little choice but to move on without closure.

Just keep in mind that any guy that ghosts you were never worth your time to begin with.

This is him revealing his genuine self. There are a few things that all ghosting men have in common. They’re emotionally immature, fearful of disagreement, and have no idea how to handle others.

So you may rest easy knowing that any man who abandons you has done you a favor in the long run.

Words that make ANY man devoted to you? (how-to video)

Why Men Ghost

The rise of ghosting is partially due to new technologies.

There was no way to keep in constant communication with the guy you were dating before the modern age of cell phones. You’d contact him a couple of times in the past, and if you couldn’t reach him, you’d chalk it up to bad luck and continue on with your life.

You know he’s seen your messages these days and has chosen not to answer. As a result, it’s simply a case of etiquette failing to keep up with technology.

People have been ghosting one other for as long as we can remember, but we’re only now able to recognize it.

But why do guys do it in the first place? Why not try to work something out or just tell them straight up that they aren’t interested? Here are some of the most common reasons why men disappear.

1. No butterflies

He often feels as if the connection between you two is missing.

Perhaps he’s picked up on some incompatibility that you haven’t.

Some women (and men) become caught up in the concept of this exciting new person, and their perception of the relationship changes as a result.

If this happens to you but not to him, he’s most likely spotting red flags that you’re missing.

2. He’s just not sure

We all know that modern dating lacks the clearly defined boundaries that traditional romance had. That’s why some guys believe that if they just don’t break up with you, they’ll be able to pick up where they left off.

And, what’s worse, they’re frequently correct. Consider that for a moment. You’ve gone on three dates with someone, and you’ve only slept with them once… “I don’t want to see you anymore,” I don’t believe we share enough interests,” He says over the phone. You’re angry, but you respect his candor, which helps you to go on.

But what if he didn’t call you at all?

You never truly dealt with the breakup, and the last time you saw him was on a nice date and waited for his call.

It’s sometimes easier to recover from ghosting than it is to recover from a true “breakup.”

If he comes back in a few months asking to hook up, you’ll know this is the case.

3. Double standards

Relationships are seen in a variety of ways by different people. This is influenced by how they were grown, how their parents interacted, and how they were treated in previous relationships.

Those who date more frequently and informally may believe that not replying to a few texts isn’t ghosting, whereas those who are absolutely monogamous view it as a major red flag. It’s all a matter of perspective.

4. He’s running away

Many men lack the emotional knowledge and fortitude to leave a relationship in a direct manner.

In this situation, he’s hoping that you won’t confront him and that he’ll be able to just forget about it without ever having to take responsibility for his acts.

It’s time to face the harsh reality… Whatever explanation he gave for ghosting you, the bottom line is that he didn’t have strong feelings for you.

So get off the phone and stop waiting for him to come to his senses. Instead, move on and find someone better suited to your needs.

Prevent Him From Ghosting You

However, how can you ensure that it does not happen again? Here are my top recommendations for avoiding being ghosted.

Set Clear Boundaries Early On

Allowing men to do anything they want will not increase their love for you. In fact, if you don’t defend yourself, many guys will lose respect for you.

This is because men secretly desire a woman who will hold them to a high level. They don’t want a girl who doesn’t respect them.

He aspires to be a knight in sparkling armor, but you must first become his princess.
So, how will you be able to maintain these high standards?

Don’t let him pass you by. Don’t fall prey to his booty call. Allowing him to cancel plans at the last minute or flake out on you is not a good idea.

Most of all, don’t pay attention to him if he doesn’t respect you.

The Text Chemistry Program

Did you know there’s a foolproof way to get guys to respond to your texts? Flaky guys were in mind when I used the Text Chemistry Program. It keeps them interested so they don’t feel it’s necessary to abandon you.

In today’s fast-paced dating world, texting is an acquired skill that is vital to building a connection. Amy walks you through when you should text him and what you should say to get his attention. It’s as simple as copying and pasting and he’ll be yours. Click here to learn more.

Communication is Key

Men that are actually confident in themselves will not abandon you. But how can you know for sure?

Finding out necessitates a degree of vulnerability on your part. Have difficult conversations with him and pay attention to how he handles important issues.

If you reveal anything personal and he changes the subject, you’ll know he’s not willing to have difficult conversations, which is a big flag that he might abandon you.

Make Him Chase You

If you don’t text him, he can’t ghost you. That is why you must make him chase after you.

He’ll be the one to send the initial text, he’ll ask you out and set up dates, and he’ll attempt to get closer to you rather than distance himself.

Don’t be cold, simply be cool.

Allow the relationship to grow at its own pace. Instead of plunging right into a relationship, you can lay a solid foundation.

In the long run, this will result in a stronger, more intimate relationship. It’s the only way to move from being ghosted to a girlfriend.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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